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(Updated April 9, 2011)
The success or failure of our society as a whole is dependent upon how our children are raised. The current generation is getting older and the “baton” must be passed to the younger generation. The beliefs and ethics that are infused into their minds will shape the future. Therefore a parent has the single most important job on earth.
MORALITY ON THE DECLINE Open a newspaper, turn on the evening news, or even sample the popular reality television shows, and you will get an eyeful and earful of what is happening in society. And it might turn your stomach. Today’s generation is portrayed, quite accurately, as a generation of over-privileged, disrespectful, rebellious, sexually promiscuous, fat, lazy human beings. The vast majority of children in the western world, specifically in the affluent United States of America, have grown up with too much. Too much food. Too much idle, free time. Too much recreation. Too much entertainment. Too much gossiping. Too much dreaming and fantasizing. Too much unearned material goods. And what’s the result having too much? Ask a teenager today and they’ll gripe, complain and tell you they feel deprived, that they don’t have enough. They’re dissatisfied and yet they don’t realize that they’re the richest, fattest generation the world has ever known. They have more than any generation in history. They spend their free time going to movies, watching television, listening to music, playing video games, texting, emailing, and seeing what other people are doing via online social networks. They’re oblivious that they’re headed for disaster. The human brain can become addicted to just about anything. You think drugs are addictive? So are the natural chemicals in the brain that fuel sensations of excitement and euphoria. The sensations felt when being entertained—from movies to video games to gossip—only feed the need for more. This dangerous addiction to satiate physical desires kills. Literally. It kills creativity. It kills education. It kills human character growth and development. It kills progress. It kills morals. This exhilarating, euphoric, natural “high” of experiences is completely and totally incoming. It flows inward. It’s all self-gratifying and selfish. And when you have a populace that has grown up feeding on chemical experiences and seeing life as an “experience playground,” it only builds and builds and builds. The desire for “feel good” experiences CANNOT be satisfied. It only creates more desire. Like a drug. If a drug-addicted person, who was formerly decent, peaceful and friendly can be transformed into a coldblooded murderer, just to steal money to get high, then it’s no stretch of the imagination to expect the same from those addicted to “natural” highs, if desperate enough. When a person puts their own desires and needs above the needs of others, they become destructive. And when that becomes the dominant mindset of the population, society is doomed. Don’t believe it? Just read the Bible. Read through the books of 1st and 2nd Kings, and 1st and 2nd Chronicles. You’ll see the successive dynasties of the Kings of Israel and Judah spanning hundreds of years. Throughout this time, these nations experienced times of great wealth and prosperity. They were also influenced heavily by their leaders. It was always at the height of their prosperity that morality declined and they stopped obeying God’s principles of life. Specifically truth, fairness, equity, hard work, modesty, humility, and outgoing concern for other people. They also began to worship false gods (idolatry). Each time, God had to get their attention by allowing a nearby nation to conquer them. Why? Because it humbled them. It caused them to stop taking their wealth for granted and begin to seek good values and return to God’s laws, in humble repentance. God said, “O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever!” (Deut 5:29; see also Jeremiah 16:10-13) Look at what happened to the United States during the “roaring 20’s” following World War 1. Excess gave rise to immorality. Lavish parties and cabarets. Short skirts and heavy drinking. Then what happened? The Great Depression and “dust bowl” brought on by severe drought. This national experience was felt by everyone, even the wealthy. The people were deeply and tragically humbled. Many died. However, during the 40’s and 50’s the U.S. experienced a return to modesty and wholesome values. It lasted for a time until the 1960’s when immorality began to rise again. Surprisingly, many see the late 1960’s as an era of progress. Yes, there was some progress, specifically in the areas of basic human rights. But overall, the rise in immorality during the late 60’s and 70’s destroyed marriages and families. Remember “free love” and rampant extramarital promiscuity? The repercussions are still being felt today. Edward Gibbon, who wrote, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, concluded that, among the variety of factors that contributed to the fall of the Roman Empire, one particular factor was most prominent: the rise of immorality. The Romans would rather attend games and performances in coliseums and amphitheaters, feasting on violence and fantasy, enjoying lavish parties in revelry and drunkenness, rather than be creative, productive, and morally grounded. Gibbon wrote, “The decline of Rome was the natural and inevitable effect of immoderate greatness. Prosperity ripened the principle of decay; the causes of destruction multiplied with the extent of conquest; and as soon as time or accident had removed the artificial supports, the stupendous fabric yielded to the pressure of its own weight.” Romans became fat and wealthy, forsaking moderation for excess. It’s what happens to humans when they have too much wealth and too much leisure time with no morals to keep them in check. Perhaps the most compelling example of the disastrous effects of excess can be found in the book of Ecclesiastes, written by King Solomon. He was the most wealthy man who lived. He had every material acquisition you can imagine. Anything he desired. He even had 1,000 wives and concubines. But it never brought him lasting happiness. Near the end of his life he became suicidal, admitting that satiating human appetites and desires does not bring true fulfillment. (Eccl 1:8; 4:8; 5:10). So what does bring true fulfillment? What principles of life do bring happiness? Our Creator knows and He outlined them for us in His “instruction manual” for life, the Holy Bible. It begins with education in the home.
RAISING CHILDREN GOD’S WAY God set forth all the necessary principles for a successful marriage and family environment, conducive to peace and prosperity. If these principles are followed, they automatically yield success. If they are violated, then contention, strife and unhappiness ensue. Before we can understand the right way to raise children, we must first understand the biblical principles for a happy marriage. The family is like a nation or company. It must be led by an individual. A nation cannot have two presidents with equal, shared authority. Nor can a company. It’s a recipe for failure. Division occurs, disagreements turn into standoffs, competition sets in, and each person struggles for power. Likewise, a family must have a single leader and God has given that position of responsibility to the male. It does not mean he is superior to the female or more valued or more important. God shows no partiality (Rom 2:11). God is for justice and equality (Ex 12:49; Matt 23:23; John 7:24). It simply means every person is appointed to a different position, and they will be individually judged on their performance in that position. A wife who is humble and submissive to her husband can receive a greater reward in God’s kingdom if she fulfilled her responsibility more perfectly than her husband. This life is a proving ground to see whether we will be humble and obedient to God or stubborn and rebellious. Only after being tested in life, proving our loyalty to God, will we be found worthy to be born of the spirit. It’s what we do with “the hand we’re dealt.” This truth helps us to understand biblical admonitions to those in submission, even to those oppressed. Such as Paul’s instruction to those in bondage. He did not encourage them to seek freedom, but instead to serve their masters well and they would be rewarded by God in the life to come. (Eph 6:5-8; Col 3:22-24; 1 Tim 6:1; Titus 2:9-10; 1 Pet 2:18-20). Let’s look now at just two simple principles for a proper marriage between a man and a woman. (Note: A forthcoming article will elaborate more on marriage principles.) And let’s keep firmly in mind that these marriage principles also ensure that children have good role models.
Principle #1: True leadership In any family there MUST be one leader. Shared, equal authority only leads to competition and strife. Notice in Genesis, that God said He would create a “helper” for Adam, and that it wasn’t good for him to be alone (Gen 2:18; 1 Cor 11:9). Naturally, offspring can only come by two individuals coming together, as it is in all of creation. So it was necessary for a second person, of a different sex, to be created. And those two “shall become one” (Gen 2:24), which means they would share lifelong goals, working together as a team to succeed and raise children. They complimented each other. Alone they were totally inadequate to raise children, but together they had all the necessary components. The man is built differently. His muscles are bulky and larger to bare the physical burden of working the ground and constructing things. The female is more delicate and gentle, with greater compassion for raising children. The man has a greater capacity to focus on accomplishing a singular task. The woman has a greater capacity to multitask and care for energetic, young children. The man works primarily outside, the woman works primarily inside. The man is rugged and rough, laboring in the heat of the sun, while the woman is protected from the elements, therefore soft and fair. And these two attributes were designed to be attractive to each other. Women are attracted to ambitious, hard working, rugged, masculine men. Men are attracted to virtuous, discreet, gentle, delicate women. Like two magnets drawn to each other. In this kind of setting, most commonly seen in an agrarian society, life is simpler and more fulfilling—only if the man shows love and concern for his wife, giving his full affection and attention when not working. And only if the woman does the same. If neither is neglected, abused, oppressed or treated harshly, the marriage is peaceful and harmonious. But it all is dependent upon the man exercising sound leadership and using Godly wisdom—and upon the woman submitting to the man’s leadership (Eph 5:22; Col 3:18). The woman was created as a helper not the leader (1 Tim 2:12). Division occurs when a woman rebels against her husband’s leadership and tries to usurp authority.
Principle #2: Giving not taking Marriages today commonly end in divorce. That’s because men and women are selfish. They each want something from the other. They don’t want to serve one another. They live the “way of get” instead of the “way of give.” If the man gave himself to the wife and children, by working hard to provide substance, comfort and prosperity, his wife and children would be happy. But it must be his primary physical goal in life. Likewise, if the woman gave herself to the husband and family, working hard to assist him in providing for the family and working hard to raise obedient, respectful children, then the man would be happy. People today don’t know what love is. True love is outflowing. It’s an outward expression away from self. It helps, it serves, it gives. People today are misguided into thinking love is a feeling in their heart, the feeling they get when they are around another person. But that’s NOT love. A feeling is a chemical response. It’s attraction, infatuation or even lust, but it’s NOT love. A feeling is only an internal, inward experience. It’s inflowing. God is love (1 John 4:8,16). God gives. He creates, He provides, He protects, He heals, He promises great reward for following His principles of life. He’s the ultimate giver. (Deut 28). God even defines what love is! He defines love by His commandments. HIS COMMANDMENTS ARE LOVE. THEY DEFINE LOVE. The first four commandments teach us HOW to love God. The last six commandments teach us HOW to love our fellow man. Love is an outward expression—it’s outflowing. Never forget it! Husband and wife fulfill each others needs. They compliment each other. Working together toward a common goal, they can achieve great things. “Together we stand, divided we fall.” Those are words to live by. But there must a hierarchical system of government and authority in the family. It’s the ONLY way to true success, peace and harmony. Look at the God family as an example. Christ said his father was in charge (John 8:28; 14:28). He said He obeyed the Father (John 15:10). There is hierarchical government even in the God family, composed of two God beings, Father and Son. Then angels, etc., under them. What if Christ decided He no longer liked being under authority and wanted to be in charge? There would be division! Thank God that will never happen because they are both perfect in character and in total alignment with each other (John 10:30), knowing who is in authority. However, look what happened when Lucifer rejected authority (Ezek 28:15-17). He wanted to GET! (Isa 14:13). He sinned and became Satan (Ezek 28:16; 1 John 3:8). War, chaos and destruction ensued (Rev 12:7-12), and God cast Satan down to the earth (Luke 10:18). Just look at our chaotic known universe. Look at the planets, full of scars, in chaos and confusion. Did God create it that way? No! God is not the author of confusion (1 Cor 14:33). Look at the unhappiness on earth now. And who is responsible? Lucifer, who rebelled (sinned) and became Satan. The world is now held under his sway (Rev 12:9). The bible calls him the “god of this world” (2 Cor 4:3-4). He’s the opposite of give. He’s the antithesis of love. The vast majority of people on earth live by Satan’s principles of get, therefore they are competitive, dissatisfied, unhappy and oppressed. HIERARCHICAL GOVERNMENT + THE WAY OF GIVE = PEACE It’s that simple. Whether you’re a whole nation or a family of three. The sooner mankind accepts it and changes, the sooner mankind can enjoy a happy existence.
EDUCATION Parenting is essentially education. A child’s mind is a lump of clay. It can be molded and shaped. It can be sculpted into a monstrous, despotic dictator who rapes, murders and destroys. Or it can be sculpted into a humble, obedient, respectful, giving person who has a positive impact on the world. The education of this world has produced awesome material progress in both science and industry. Technological innovation and achievement in the last 100 years is truly astounding. Humans have taken raw materials from the ground, essentially chunks of rocks and elements, and produced automobiles, air conditioners, gas pipelines, hydroelectric dams, computers, cell phones, jet planes, spacecraft, nuclear power plants, even synthetic human organs. But despite this awesome progress and achievement, mankind cannot get along. The divorce rate is around 50% in America. Nations are always at war. Lawyers sue everyone for personal gain, driving up the costs of goods and services. Companies compete for dominance in the marketplace and try to crush each other. Why such contrast? Why such technological achievement on one hand and such human hopelessness and failure on the other? The reason is, education in our world is totally material. Children are taught WHAT to be—as in a profession. But they are not taught WHO to be—as in a good human being. They are not taught WHO to be because they have rejected the Bible, the instruction manual for mankind. They have rejected God’s principles of life—His spiritual laws! Instead, there are thousands of man-devised systems of morals and ethics, differing by culture and religion. But the Bible teaches that there is only one God, one authority and one true religion (Mal 2:10; Eph 4:4-6; 1 Tim 2:5). To study the bible—the inspired Word of God—is to received spiritual education. It’s the one component missing from our educational system. Sadly, it will continue to be the missing component until God Almighty intervenes. Man has rejected it. And, in doing so, he has consigned himself to a life of failure and misery. So what does the bible say about educating children? “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph 6:4) In the above quote, Paul is teaching that parents—notice he specifically says “fathers” because they are the leaders of the families—should raise children in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord.” In other words, God’s way, as taught in the Bible. When Paul wrote those words, the “New Testament” did not exist. The only “bible” the early church had was the “Old Testament.” So let’s turn back to a few Old Testament scriptures and see what God says about raising children. “Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it: That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged. Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.” (Duet 6:1-8; see also Duet 11:13-15) Notice that Gods laws are not only to be taught but discussed often. His laws are to be “top of mind.” Remember “faithful” Abraham? How obedient he was to God? He knew that the way to peace and happiness in life was obeying God’s principles. God said: “For I know [Abraham], that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon [him] that which He hath spoken of him.” (Gen 18:19) So, Abraham raised his children by God’s laws and therefore he was greatly blessed. “Give ear, O my people, to my law: incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God. The children of Ephraim, being armed, and carrying bows, turned back in the day of battle. They kept not the covenant of God, and refused to walk in his law; And forgat his works, and his wonders that he had shewed them.” (Psa 78:1-11) Notice how important it is to teach God’s ways to your children, in order for them to continue yielding peace and prosperity. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Prov 22:6) Raising children is called “training.” It’s training their minds from a young age and remaining consistent until adulthood, so that they are conditioned to follow Godly principles of love. “But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.” (2 Tim 3:14-17) Timothy was raised from childhood within the law of God, living by God’s inspired Word. Notice that “all scripture” was inspired and “profitable” for “instruction in righteousness.” And how obedience to these laws enabled one to be perfect, having fruits or “works,” which are giving, serving and helping others. These few sample scriptures suffice to show how a child ought to be raised. They should be trained in God’s law of love and they should keep them top of mind always. Because following them yields success and happiness in life. What about Christ? While He walked this earth in a human body, how did He live? By what principles did He live? “As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.” (John 15:9-10) Christ Himself lives by no other set of spiritual laws than the ones commanded in the Old Testament. He lived by example for us, that we should follow Him.
THE FUTURE God says He doesn’t change, that He’s always the same (Mal 3:6; Heb 13:8). He’s perfect (Matt 5:48), so what room is there for improvement? In the not-too-distant future, God will establish a world-ruling government, and these same principles will be taught to all humanity. “And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of the LORD's house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and all nations shall flow unto it. And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths: for out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem. And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.” (Isa 2:2-4) Very simply, God’s laws are the key to lifelong happiness, in marriages and families. A strong family unit is the foundation of any strong, stable society. When the family breaks apart, society breaks apart. And that’s why we see so much trouble in the world. It’s a breakdown in moral principles, a breakdown in marriages and a breakdown in the family unit. So let’s start living God’s principles for raising children now, so that we, and our children, can be a light to the world. A shining example of the only way that works... God’s way.
PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR RAISING CHILDREN An adult cannot become a productive member of society unless he or she is taught to be a productive member of the family. The following biblical guidelines should be taught to every child. 1. Teach them a hard work ethic. The bible teaches that a person who refuses to work, won’t eat (2 Thes 3:10; Prov 19:15) and will suffer a life of poverty (Prov 6:6-11), decay (Eccl 10:18) and death (Prov 21:25-26). We all must labor to provide for ourselves. Success is mostly a direct result of how much time and effort we put into accomplishing goals (Prov 13:4). God commanded us to work six days per week (Ex 20:9) and to work with all our might (Eccl 9:10). So a strong work ethic is something that should be instilled in our children from a young age. It begins with every member of the family having a task to perform. Children naturally want to help their parents from a young age. Even two-year-olds naturally want to help do dishes. They are inquisitive and try to imitate adults. This desire should never be suppressed, rather it should be encouraged. When they display a desire to help, give them a task to do and praise them when they do a good job. When they are older, give them routine chores and responsibilities. Ones they own. This becomes their job and a way to contribute to the family—their immediate society. Rewards, such as money, can be good incentives for doing chores, but a child should not come to expect to get paid for every contribution to the family. They should also learn to contribute because it simply benefits the family. This teaches altruism—giving of themselves without expectation of reward. So it’s a good idea to separate “paid” chores from “unpaid” chores. For example, things such as doing dishes after dinner, cleaning up their bedroom or bathroom, dusting, and vacuuming the house benefits everyone in the household. These could be good “unpaid” chores. Other chores such as ironing, mending, weeding in the yard or mowing the lawn could be good “paid” chores. Decide for yourself, but have a good rationale for which chores should be paid or unpaid, so that you can have an answer when your children ask why. A hard work ethic instilled in children within the family will automatically result in a hard work ethic in adulthood (Prov 22:6). But sometimes, we overwork. We get out of balance. So teach children to work hard, but not to become obsessive “workaholics.” An often overlooked source of teaching is a parent’s example. Children are always observing their parents. Don’t expect your children to have a hard work ethic if you don’t. Teach by example. This principle applies to every aspect of life, whether it’s work, diet, etiquette, communication, anything and everything. Lead by example! 2. Teach them to clean up after themselves. Children should be taught to clean up their toys when they are done with them. They should be taught to keep their room clean. They should be taught to clean up after themselves. This teaches personal responsibility. A parent should never clean up after a child, unless they are infants or physically unable to do it themselves. If parents fail to make their children clean up their own messes, children will learn to expect others to clean up after them. We were not created to be served, rather to serve others. 3. Teach them to share with others. Sadly, one of the first words a child learns is “mine.” The spirit of competition and jealousy begins to permeate a child’s mind very early. If left unchecked, it could have disastrous consequences. They must learn the value of sharing with others—the way of give (Prov 28:27). Paul wrote, “Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.” (Eph 4:28). It’s the only way of life that brings happiness and fulfillment. Dictators and despots were once children and their total disregard for the welfare of other human beings was ingrained from a very young age. They care only for themselves, like little children who take toys from other children. Christ used the example of a rich man who hoarded wealth for himself, to illustrate how selfish ambition is wrong. (Luke 12:15-21) 4. Teach them to be courteous. Children should be taught to say, “please” when requesting something and “thank you” upon receiving something. It shows politeness and gratitude. Furthermore, if they are rejected upon request, they shouldn’t be allowed to throw a tantrum. There should not be an expectation that every request will be granted. It is the prerogative of the person receiving the request, whether it’s granted or not. Saying, “thank you” upon receiving something shows appreciation of others and their efforts. Courteous people are naturally liked and admired. It’s a virtuous attribute that must be learned from a young age. 5. Teach them to be respectful. Kids today have no respect for their elders. They generally don’t respect their parents, their teachers or strangers. A healthy respect for others should be taught at a young age. Start by simply teaching children to address elders as “mister” and “misses,” followed by the last name. A child should never address an adult by their first name, including those in their own family. The family titles of dad, mom, uncle and aunt, show respect for their “office” of responsibility and role in the family. Additionally, they can address elders by “sir,” and “ma’am.” All of this shows a humble attitude and outward respect for others—a critical attribute for a polite, friendly society—aligning with biblical teaching (1 Tim 5:1-3). 6. Teach them good etiquette. This principle is sorely lacking in society today. People today are rude and improper. Rarely do they give preference to others when entering a doorway, when serving food at a dinner table or even when coming to a stop sign in an automobile. Let’s observe a few lessons in good etiquette for something as simple as eating at a dinner table. When dining at a table with others: (1) Sit up straight. Poor posture shows disinterest. It’s unattractive and can lead to back problems over time. (2) Upon sitting down, immediately place the napkin on the lap. Nobody wants to see a dirty napkin on a table surface. It’s messy and unappetizing. (3) Use utensils not fingers. There are, of course, some exceptions to the rule. But generally, food should be eaten with a knife, fork and spoon. Greasy, dirty fingers leave greasy, dirty fingerprints. Again, it’s messy and unappetizing. (4) Don’t chew with your mouth open. Nobody wants to see chewed-up food in your mouth. It’s unappetizing and unappealing. (5) Don’t talk with food in your mouth. If you need to speak, wait until you’ve swallowed your food. There’s nothing as disgusting at a dinner table than chunks of food flying across the table by someone talking with food in their mouth. (6) Pull the plate of food toward you, close to the edge of the table, to avoid dropping food on the tablecloth under your chin. (7) Lean over the plate when taking a bite. This helps to avoid dropping food in your lap. (8) Do not set glasses of liquid near the edge of the table. They are likely to get knocked over or onto the floor. (9) When finished, place used utensils in the center of the plate, so that when the plate is removed, the utensils do not fall off the plate. (10) When finished eating, wait until everyone else is finished before leaving the table or removing dishes from the table. There are many other principles of good social etiquette. They can be found in a variety of books and articles. Conduct a simple internet search and you will discover rules of proper etiquette for just about every situation in life. 7. Teach them to save money. Saving money is very important. A person must think long term if they expect to be successful in life. This means planning for the future and in the event of an emergency. Most people fail to save money and end up in broke late in life. Some must depend upon their children to survive in their later years because they never saved any money for retirement. Under the inspiration of God, Solomon wrote, “a good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children.” (Prov 13:22). 8. Teach them that competition is wrong. Playing competitive sports is common in our society today, but it is totally contrary to all biblical teaching. Physical fitness is very important to maintain health and vitality, however competition in any form fuels contention, strife, jealousy and unhappiness. The winners celebrate their victories over others while the losers become distraught, suffering anguish. This is very harmful to the development of human character, specifically the virtue of serving and giving preference to others. What was Christ’s response when His disciples argued among themselves about which of them would be the greatest? “And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest. And He said unto them, the kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and they that exercise authority upon them are called benefactors. But ye shall not be so: but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that doth serve. For whether is greater, he that sitteth at meat, or he that serveth? is not he that sitteth at meat? but I am among you as He that serveth.” (Luke 22:24-27) Paul wrote: “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.” (Phil 2:3) Our society would greatly benefit by people working together for a common good rather than competing for domination. There will be NO competition (including sports) in God’s Kingdom to come. 9. Teach them to avoid entertainment. The television can be a source of education. But mostly it’s a source of entertainment. Watching television, watching movies and playing video games has severely stunted human potential and slowed human progress over the past few decades. “Entertainment” has taken us out of the real world and into a fantasy world. It can excite and thrill, fueling highly-addictive, euphoric sensations in the brain. But it doesn’t benefit the individual or society. It’s a natural “high” that keeps people in a constant state of unproductive, unprofitable, uncreative life. Like a dog chasing its tail, going nowhere. It fuels discontentedness, dissatisfaction and unhappiness. It warps our view of the world and creates unrealistic expectations. It causes us to become more insular. It causes us to seek corrupt values. There will be NO movies, TV shows or video games in God’s Kingdom to come. Human beings were designed to be creative, inventive and productive—not mindless, idle “zombies,” hypnotized by entertainment. 10. Teach them to serve others. At its core, God’s way of life is the way of give. This means giving preference to others. It means serving and helping others. This is where we find true joy and fulfillment. Satan’s way is the way of get—be it a child who takes another child’s toy or a ruthless dictator who murders whole populations without a conscience. Christ said He came as one “who serves” (Luke 22:27). We should all be following His example (1 John 2:6; 1 Pet 2:21).
DISCIPLINE Perhaps one of the greatest impacts a parent can have on a child is through discipline. Like anything in life, there are two extremes. Those who don’t discipline their children at all and those who discipline their children harshly. Clearly, there must be a balance. Discipline is important because it prepares them for life. There are laws in this world, which are designed to protect life and property. When these laws are violated there is a penalty. So likewise, there must be laws of the household and a penalty for violation of those laws. God says he “chastises” those whom He loves (Heb 12:5-7; Rev 3:19), even as a parent does the same with their children. He does so for our benefit. Because He doesn’t want to see us harmed. For example, a parent should teach their children to obey commands and to come when called. Conditioning a child to obey can save their life. What if a young child is running and playing in the front yard of a home, and decides to run into the street? If the child is undisciplined and ignores the command of its parent, it could be killed by a passing car. In a similar way, God corrects us through chastisement to condition our minds to obey His principles—for our own protection. This simple principle can be applied to anything in life. Just look at some of the things that God commands in His law, such as forbidding adultery (Ex 20:14). If undisciplined, a man or woman can give in to sexual desire and commit adultery. This can destroy a marriage, causing great anguish to the whole family. Or look at principles of health. God outlined the foods which are fit for human consumption, and those that aren’t (Lev 11). When these laws are violated, it leads to disease and chronic health problems. (Please read, Eating and Living Healthy) A child who learns obedience from a young age, with a correction when they misbehave, is far less likely to misbehave later on. But a parent should use wisdom when correcting bad behavior. Often a verbal reprimand is enough. But sometimes a spanking on the rear end is necessary and beneficial (Prov 22:15; 23:13-14). It’s important to keep calm and not spank too hard or excessively. Don’t let your emotions take over. Too often, parents strike their children disproportionately, out of frustration. This can have damaging effects (Eph 6:4). Parents should use patience, moderation and restraint—even as God’s ministers are instructed to do the same with the church (2 Tim 2:24-25). And ALWAYS take the time to explain to them what you expect them to do, and explain it as often as necessary until the child acknowledges that they understand it thoroughly. Then, if it becomes necessary to correct them, they won't be able to claim they don't understand why they're being corrected. Verbal communication is the most important part.
CONCLUSION Raising children the way our creator intended, with a loving mother at home and a father as head of household, has been vilified by the women’s movement. But raising children is a full-time occupation and the most important job on earth. By the time our civilization realizes it, it will be too late. We can impact our world in a positive way by simply teaching our children God’s law— biblical principles which express the way of love, peace, giving, politeness, etiquette, respect, hard work, financial security, humility, modesty and creativity. The way humans were intended to live. The only way which yields true happiness and lifelong fulfillment. As biblical prophecy indicates, the generations to come will suffer more than all previous generations, as society continues to erode. People will become more selfish, more competitive, more uncaring and unloving, to the extent that humanity self-destructs. Yet, there is hope for mankind because we know that God will intervene before humanity is destroyed. He will save us from ourselves, and will have proven—through six thousand years of human suffering—that there is no way to happiness apart from God and His perfect way.
-END- © 2011 Church Of God In Training For The Kingdom - |
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